So I'm done. Last post. It was a good run. 50 odd posts.
To all those that stuck around, it was a fun run and thanks.
By the way... never did get famous or find that HCHHSSTT. Oh well such is life.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
My First Lease
So, I'm supposed to be closing on my new apartment tomorrow. I should be experiencing a whole lot of emotions ranging from happiness, relief, excitement and maybe even fear (I'm scared of cockroaches!). Am I feeling these things? No, I'm not. What I'm feeling is more like fatigue and also disgust.
You see I've realised something - It is not easy getting an apartment in India. There are just way too many requirements most of which are a complete waste of time.
For example I will list of some of the requirements my Land Lord wants from me which by the way don't include the standard items like a deposit of Rs. 50000, along with two months brokerage and first month rent upfront (I'm giving a deposit and you want the first month rent upfront as well? Does this make sense!).
So the additional requirements are:
1) A letter of permanent employment from my company. I wonder what would've happened if I was self employed or if I was a rich kid with parents paying the rent?
2) Interestingly enough he also wanted a letter from my Mother or Father stating that they did not have a problem with me entering a lease agreement with him. Let's see I'm 25, supported my family for a while when I was 22 or 23 can't remember, and oh yeah lived alone in Bombay for the last year and half! Are you serious? A letter from my Mother? What is this Middle School?
3) Religion and Caste - blogged about this before, don't want to discuss it.
4) At one point, he didn't want to allow for an exit point in the lease agreement basically stating that I was stuck there for eleven months and didn't have a choice about it. Obviously, I told him in a firm manner that this was not going to happen and amazingly he relented. By the way I think this was the only thing he relented on.
So, those are a few of the additional requirements that he had. Did I mention these people are supposed to be educated? I guess in the future I'll just have to make sure I buy an apartment instead of renting one.
Like that will ever happen.
P.S. Too top it all off, not a single HCHHSSTT in the building.
You see I've realised something - It is not easy getting an apartment in India. There are just way too many requirements most of which are a complete waste of time.
For example I will list of some of the requirements my Land Lord wants from me which by the way don't include the standard items like a deposit of Rs. 50000, along with two months brokerage and first month rent upfront (I'm giving a deposit and you want the first month rent upfront as well? Does this make sense!).
So the additional requirements are:
1) A letter of permanent employment from my company. I wonder what would've happened if I was self employed or if I was a rich kid with parents paying the rent?
2) Interestingly enough he also wanted a letter from my Mother or Father stating that they did not have a problem with me entering a lease agreement with him. Let's see I'm 25, supported my family for a while when I was 22 or 23 can't remember, and oh yeah lived alone in Bombay for the last year and half! Are you serious? A letter from my Mother? What is this Middle School?
3) Religion and Caste - blogged about this before, don't want to discuss it.
4) At one point, he didn't want to allow for an exit point in the lease agreement basically stating that I was stuck there for eleven months and didn't have a choice about it. Obviously, I told him in a firm manner that this was not going to happen and amazingly he relented. By the way I think this was the only thing he relented on.
So, those are a few of the additional requirements that he had. Did I mention these people are supposed to be educated? I guess in the future I'll just have to make sure I buy an apartment instead of renting one.
Like that will ever happen.
P.S. Too top it all off, not a single HCHHSSTT in the building.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
My First HCHHSSTT
It's funny how women think that us Manly Men never remember our first girlfriends, or the first girl we kissed, or hell even the first girl we slept with (Or for you sensitive types out there, first girl we made "love" too!).
But, its not true truth be told, I'm pretty sure at least 90% of us Manly Men remember the first girl we kissed, dated or slept with. Sure, the girl may not have been a complete HCHHSSTT and because of that we may want to forget about them. Believe it or not, we don't.
You see it's a simple reason behind why we don't forget them. It's because us Manly Man draw all our confidence and our powers from the first time we did things. Sure we may tell you we don't remember it, in an effort to come off uncaring, cold and nonchalant (For the record this is done only by those Manly Men that suffer from a little bit of insecurity, however since they are Manly Men we chose to forgive them).
You see we remember our first times not because the girl was so awesome, not because it may have been an HCHHSSTT that was from beyond this world. No, we remember them because when we did all of our firsts we were so awesome at it that the women couldn't help but tell us. You see them telling us, that's the central being of our awesome Manly Man powers. It's because of the fact that the first girl we kissed absolutely swooned in our arm's for a couple of second after which she jumped on us begging for more, or the first girl we slept with couldn't stop mouthing the words "OMFG!" or even the first girl we dated couldn't help but spend the next three months trying to make us jealous.
Personally, I remember all three of my firsts and while the women weren't necessarily HCHHSSTT's, lets just say I hit all three balls out of the park.
But, its not true truth be told, I'm pretty sure at least 90% of us Manly Men remember the first girl we kissed, dated or slept with. Sure, the girl may not have been a complete HCHHSSTT and because of that we may want to forget about them. Believe it or not, we don't.
You see it's a simple reason behind why we don't forget them. It's because us Manly Man draw all our confidence and our powers from the first time we did things. Sure we may tell you we don't remember it, in an effort to come off uncaring, cold and nonchalant (For the record this is done only by those Manly Men that suffer from a little bit of insecurity, however since they are Manly Men we chose to forgive them).
You see we remember our first times not because the girl was so awesome, not because it may have been an HCHHSSTT that was from beyond this world. No, we remember them because when we did all of our firsts we were so awesome at it that the women couldn't help but tell us. You see them telling us, that's the central being of our awesome Manly Man powers. It's because of the fact that the first girl we kissed absolutely swooned in our arm's for a couple of second after which she jumped on us begging for more, or the first girl we slept with couldn't stop mouthing the words "OMFG!" or even the first girl we dated couldn't help but spend the next three months trying to make us jealous.
Personally, I remember all three of my firsts and while the women weren't necessarily HCHHSSTT's, lets just say I hit all three balls out of the park.
Monday, June 2, 2008
My First Confession
OK, so I have a confession to make. However, this is nothing like "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen". This is better!
So, there I was this weekend, company sponsored party with tons of free alcohol. Well, you can imagine what happened next. That's right I committed the cardinal sin. I cockblocked a fellow Manly Man. OK he wasn't exactly a Manly Man, but he was half a man and there he was hitting on a HCHHSSTT and instead of trying to help him, I cockblocked.
I'm not proud of it, and in all fairness I was cockblocked by a fellow Manly Man as well, especially one who would in his normal senses never do such a thing.
It occurs to me, that when you consume tons of alcohol, you really lose control of yourself. You give in to the dark side. This dark side is not good. I mean here I am the preacher of Wingmanness, and I let every body down by cockblocking.
Today, I make a vow never to again cockblock no matter how drunk I get. How you ask am I going to do this? Simple, If I ever cockblock I will make it up to the person by buying their drinks for the night. Since I am so cheap, I have a feeling that will stop me and if it doesn't well we'll have to come up with an alternative plan.
Cockblocking is evil and I am ashamed of myself. The HCHHSSTT was kinda worth it though.
So, there I was this weekend, company sponsored party with tons of free alcohol. Well, you can imagine what happened next. That's right I committed the cardinal sin. I cockblocked a fellow Manly Man. OK he wasn't exactly a Manly Man, but he was half a man and there he was hitting on a HCHHSSTT and instead of trying to help him, I cockblocked.
I'm not proud of it, and in all fairness I was cockblocked by a fellow Manly Man as well, especially one who would in his normal senses never do such a thing.
It occurs to me, that when you consume tons of alcohol, you really lose control of yourself. You give in to the dark side. This dark side is not good. I mean here I am the preacher of Wingmanness, and I let every body down by cockblocking.
Today, I make a vow never to again cockblock no matter how drunk I get. How you ask am I going to do this? Simple, If I ever cockblock I will make it up to the person by buying their drinks for the night. Since I am so cheap, I have a feeling that will stop me and if it doesn't well we'll have to come up with an alternative plan.
Cockblocking is evil and I am ashamed of myself. The HCHHSSTT was kinda worth it though.
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