What time is it?

So, I want to ask you a quest? If you could choose any time period to live in which would it be?

My colleague and I spend a lot of time discussing these things. This being the colleague that thinks he's Batman but is scared of birds. We managed to come up with a few interesting time periods:

One that I could think of was World War I - Flying a Sopwith Camel over the cloudy skies of France, getting into a dogfight with "Ze Germans!" and taking down those filthy dogs at 10,000 feet! And when you land, nothing beats a cold beer and hot french women "Allo Allo!"

Then you have the early 15th century! There you are Captain of the HCHHSSTT! Yarr Matey! Buxom Bosoms! Booty! and most of all danger and treachery of the high seas! I would have called myself Captain Zrd! (something about initials! They make for character!). Personally I'd also have had my very own harem of women on my ship captured and bought from around the world! Where's all the Rum and HCHHSSTT gone???

Of course, we can't forget the Wild Wild West! I would've made like a Jesse James! Best part is all the whiskey you can handle and a ton of really fine HCHHSSTT! (By the way I'm not trying to bring them up, it just happens to be that all these time periods were abundant in really fine women!). You're luuking at the ffaassstesstt ggguunn in the West pardner!

Then we have the sixties! Who wouldn't want to be there with all the wild rampant sex and drug use! Nuff said!

My colleague whom we shall refer to as The BWSP (The Batman Wannabe Scared of Pigeons) going forward, actually came up with a brilliant idea! Imagine if you were given 80 years to live, but you could split them however you wanted. I mean WOW! The possibilities are endless. 2 years spent following Jesus around the world before he was crucified. Maybe another year to see if he came back! Imagine spending a couple of years with Socrates and his disciples. 2 years in the sixties before I OD on it! Definitely leaving a year to be spent in space! The final frontier! These are the voyages of the Starship Zaev!

Think about it? How would you spend your time?

My First Change!

So it's been a while. I know a lot of ya'll are mad at me. I'm sorry, honestly I've been working hard to save my job. Few people know this, but I was close to being fired. Unfortunately, since I haven't been discovered yet as a writer and since I have yet to start on my first book. Unemployment wasn't an option I could afford. Believe me, all I did was work work work, all in an effort to earn my meagre earnings so I wouldn't have to go and live with my Mom or Dad. I hope you understand?

Now that you've forgiven me. Moving on! I'm going to basically cover a bunch of thoughts that have randomly been coming into my head.

1) Have you ever wondered why the world Bosom makes you think of a girl with really big breasts. While the word breasts always comes off sounding a little wanting? Who came up with the word Bosom? Better yet who came up with the phrase "Buxom Bosom"? My hat is off to that person. Sheer Genius.

2) End of 2008, beginning of 2009. I know it's a while yet, but I mean really? 2009?? I declare it the year of the Zaev! Who's with me on this one??? Anybody??? Do I finally get laid in 2009??? For that matter does my sister get laid before I do?? We should have a poll going! Who wants in??? (Trisha.. don't show this to your mom!)

3) Why don't more people drink beer? I mean I've realised... and it's taken me 25 years and 10 months to realise it, but beer is the alcoholic drink of choice for me. Why don't more people drink it? I understand in India, most local beers are pretty bad (let's just say kidney stones would be the least of your problems!). Yet, world over I believe we should start a movement encouraging people to drink beer. After all it's called Beer Goggles! Not Whiskey monocle!

4) Obama won! Ok, so I was wrong on the Americans being rednecks. Or maybe they realised that for once, the other rednecks were worse than the "African American Muslim from Hawaii"? Well, lets see where he gets us. I know I've already lost 1000rs. since he became president! (Never make bets with overzealous women when at a bar drinking beer!)

5) This is related to my above statement, whats the over / under on Obama staying in Office for another 4 years? Better yet, will he even survive 4 years?

6) Why is it that women insist on being friends with every guy they meet? Really? I mean ok so you can go bragging about how u have more men friends than women? Maybe it's because women hate all women but insist on talking to only men?!? Random thought! I can't help it!

7) Whatever happened to the code of "Bro's Before Ho's!". I've realised that as we head into the distant future, us Manly Men are forsaking our brother's just for the opportunity to get some play! Honestly, are things that bad for everybody? I thought I was the only one currently dealing with an economic recession of epic proportions!

8) On a related note, whats the Over / Under on this recession? Will it end in 1, 2, 4 or 6 years? Better yet, will I be able to keep my job during this recession. Or will I be forced to hand out party favors at the local Y for my meagre earnings.

9) So 26th birthday coming up... Is it really all downhill from here? I mean it's been pretty downhill from 23 onwards. Does it get worse?? Can it get worse??

10) Is 26 finally the time I lose some weight, get off my ass and make a name for myself? I wonder. As I ponder these random thoughts. I ask you to ponder them too.

Stay tuned for my next update! Oh and the change? No more My First's! We start a new Era now! It shall be an exciting time for us all! Journey on my wayward child!