Saturday, December 13, 2008

Updates in the world of Zrd!

First of all why do I refer to my self as Zrd? I think it's a power name. You have the Z.. the r and the d! I mean really can you have a better set of initials in sequence like that? I don't think so!

If you are wondering, yes I am slightly tipsy right now, I've found myself writing whenever I am tipsy lately, and the first question that comes to my mind is "Am I that emotionally unstable??" the second question is "Am I drinking too much??" The third question is "Should I stop?" for some reason I enjoy having my happy buzz! Unfortunately, I also wish I had better people to share this happy buzz with!

So, I just promised my lil sister I'll be there for her birthday in Calcutta this year.. that means flying out on the 1st of Jan and coming back on the 5th of Jan... is it feasible? Yes it is! So guess the one trip I've been putting off for a long time is finally going to happen. I guess it's weird going back to a place where I barely have any roots is kinda weird. Worse yet, I have to meet the one Grandmother of mine whom I actually like. Why is it bad that I have to meet her? Well, it's cause she suffers from Alzheimer's and I doubt she'll remember me.

I just got back from the movie "The day the Earth stopped moving" and I have to admit, nice special effects. However does Keanu Reeves ever have more than one facial expression other than the "DUH!" look? At the end of the day I think I spent more money than was worth. Must remember to tighten the wallet strings!

So here I am, one week away from my 26th birthday and listening to "Don't stop believing" by Journey. I just left two of my friends on the street's of Bombay after a couple of drinks. They left apart, but more together than I've seen them in a long time. When I see them, I ask myself a lot of questions. Honestly, do we all end up more together when apart? Or do some of us manage to stay together. I guess we all just have to do what the song says and "don't stop believing".

Oh well, guess I'll go to bed now and reflect on the past week or two. On the flip side, my lil sister did promise not to make out with her boyfriend in front of me when I visit.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Friends and moments you take for granted

I always tend to take my friends for granted, and I'm sure a whole lot of you out there do. It's not just friends, it extends to family as well and obviously moments.

When I was in NYC, I took my best friend for granted, I took both of my roommates for granted (both of whom are people that you would kill to know), I took my Didi for granted (I am so sorry that I did!) and most of all I took all the time I spent there for granted.

It's funny, you wake up one day and look back and realise that without these people, you would be nowhere in life. In fact you wouldn't be half the man you are. It's also funny how an evening spent drinking beer makes you realise these things. Of course after that you realise you take all the beer drinking for granted. Let me tell you... never ever take the beer drinking for granted.

So here I am today, and all I can think about are the moments spent playing monopoly with my bro before he left for the states (I fleeced him for everything he had), or the moments spent playing Halo with my roommie, then there were the times spent discussing Michael Jordan with my other roommie along with all our past high school moments, don't lets forget the time spent with best friends talking about HCHHSSTT's and pounding back beers. Then the moments when your sister admits she thought you were the coolest thing ever or how about the fact that your Dad keeps asking you to eat dinner with him when you stay with him and then you finally have the time when your Mom Say's she's proud of you just cause it's you. How about those time's when my Didi cooked whatever I wanted for Sunday lunch?

I know I took all of this for granted, and I know I will continue to do so, cause hey that's who I am, and it's not an excuse! I would never excuse this behaviour, it's a character flaw and I know it. All I can say is I promise that one day I'll make up for it. It may take me a long time, but I will.

I still remember that one time, 2:30 am and making my way to a strip club... the night before Neil's graduation... moments, don't want to come off sappy, but these are once in a life time moments.

To my boy Sanka: You are right, it takes but a moment to make changes, but sometimes the changes that matter most are the ones that take longer than one moment.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Appraisal's, feedbacks, little sister's and women we can't get

So I just read my lil sister's blog (you can go read it at diggingpotatoes.blogspot.com). This pain's me a lot and I doubt I'll ever recover from admitting to it, but since I am a little buzzed from drinking I might as well admit: My lil sister is a better writer than I am. Right now is a good time for the Lord to strike me down with lightning and make me never have to live through the moment where she starts laughing at me and yelling "LOSER!". Seriously though, the post's may appear long and sometimes a little dreary, but definitely worth a read.

So it's that time of the month, when the higherup's in the company (No, I'm not one of them! Blasphemy.. I know!) decide to give us little people feedback on our performance and if we're good enough we get a salary increment. While I can't tell you if I received an increment or not, I can tell you my feedback was mostly positive. Trust me, I'm as surprised as you. I expected them to tell me to pack my bags and leave that very day. But I guess that's what makes feedback so important, you don't always know what kind of job your doing and sometimes you need somebody to tell you even if its not always positive.

So, I took Suzzanne (my bike for those not familiar) out for a nice long ride this past weekend, and let's just say I appreciate her all the more. A couple of us stayed out in a nice villa and spent all evening sipping whiskey and eating meat. Two of us even strayed out for a walk in the night and looked at the stars. All the while I was thinking two thoughts; "Why couldn't you be single and why can't I have met you seven years ago" and "two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl, year after year, running over the same old ground". Why is it that we always want something we can't have? Why is it sometimes just having a person near you can make all the difference between being absolutely bored and ecstatically happy? I guess, I could always make something happen in another lifetime? I'm sorry I don't mean to come of sounding so pathetic (Though I am off the opinion that my picture should be up next to the definition of the word pathetic in Webster's dictionary).

Well it's December, and I turn 26 this month. Time flies eh? I wonder what the 16 year old me would say if he saw where I was right now. I mean I have my own apartment, I ride a bike, I have a job that pays me well and gets me semi excited. But, I'm missing something... and I think I know what it is. No, I do know what it is... but I wonder, if I had it would I be happier? Wow, 26! Some how I can't fathom the fact that I'm actually an adult now. I guess we all yearn for the day's when we were 16? Almost a decade ago... a decade... sometimes, we just have to ask ourselves "where did we go wrong?" or is it "where did we go right?"

Like I said: I'm 26, I have a job, I have my own apartment, I ride a bike and while I may not be where I thought I would be when I was 16, I don't think I'm doing too badly. I may be single and I may not have found my calling in life; but I just realised that I have the next 10 years to change that.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Where has all the sanity gone?

The 26th of November, a day that will live in infamy! The day they woke up a sleeping giant! Wait.. who are we kidding! Let's be honest, 5 years from now we wouldn't remember a thing about the 26th of November if it weren't for the media constantly flashing reminders of the violence.

Y'all think I'm being "insensitive, uncaring, and definitely crass" don't you? The way I look at it, I'm just being honest. By the way I don't speak from ignorance, I speak from experience.

I'm 25 years old (Unfortunately, not for long) and in my 25 years I've been victim to many an act of violence. I was beat up by my older brother growing up (Thanks Dada!), I was made fun of as a kid (Children can be Oh So Cruel!), I was once close to being molested in the elevator of a country that can only be defined as the armpit of Satan, there was also the time I flew into Delhi Airport right as Rajiv Gandhi was killed and I was stuck in a hotel all night by myself at the tender age of 9 (was very close to being kidnapped as well!), there was also the time that I was in a building and it got hit by a plane.. oh wait! You know that as 9/11! and finally the times I got robbed at gun point, followed finally by 26/11! (What an anti climax eh??). I also love how creative us Indians are, we really couldn't come up with a name with more impact? I mean 26/11 was the best we had to offer? Who came up with this? I need to do research and find the name of the genius behind it!


How can one guy experience so much violence? I don't know! That's a story for another day. The point of this post is: after all of this I don't remember what day they happened on and for the most part barely acknowledge them happening. This is not me repressing. This is just me getting numb to all the violence around me. On September 11th of 2008 let me tell you, I did not spend any time mourning the dead. As shocking as it is, I didn't even recall what had happened 7 years earlier. In fact, how numb am I? A colleagues brother of mine was kidnapped, half his body burnt, tied and bound into a suitcase and left in the boot of a car. When I found out, all I could say was "That sucks".

I think we're all just surrounded by so much violence that we tend to get numb to it. I partially blame the media, it doesn't help when all your broadcasts are oriented towards sex and violence. Fortunately, I enjoy sex so I don't plan on getting numb to that, but violence can get a little irritating after a while.

All you people out there coming up with support groups for the injured and dead, or asking our political leaders to take some action, or hey even the the people that went to the Ground Zero to mourn the dead... I have a question for all of you... where were you before the violence took place and what did you do to try and stop it? Me, at least I have an excuse. I'm just numb.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What time is it?

So, I want to ask you a quest? If you could choose any time period to live in which would it be?

My colleague and I spend a lot of time discussing these things. This being the colleague that thinks he's Batman but is scared of birds. We managed to come up with a few interesting time periods:

One that I could think of was World War I - Flying a Sopwith Camel over the cloudy skies of France, getting into a dogfight with "Ze Germans!" and taking down those filthy dogs at 10,000 feet! And when you land, nothing beats a cold beer and hot french women "Allo Allo!"

Then you have the early 15th century! There you are Captain of the HCHHSSTT! Yarr Matey! Buxom Bosoms! Booty! and most of all danger and treachery of the high seas! I would have called myself Captain Zrd! (something about initials! They make for character!). Personally I'd also have had my very own harem of women on my ship captured and bought from around the world! Where's all the Rum and HCHHSSTT gone???

Of course, we can't forget the Wild Wild West! I would've made like a Jesse James! Best part is all the whiskey you can handle and a ton of really fine HCHHSSTT! (By the way I'm not trying to bring them up, it just happens to be that all these time periods were abundant in really fine women!). You're luuking at the ffaassstesstt ggguunn in the West pardner!

Then we have the sixties! Who wouldn't want to be there with all the wild rampant sex and drug use! Nuff said!

My colleague whom we shall refer to as The BWSP (The Batman Wannabe Scared of Pigeons) going forward, actually came up with a brilliant idea! Imagine if you were given 80 years to live, but you could split them however you wanted. I mean WOW! The possibilities are endless. 2 years spent following Jesus around the world before he was crucified. Maybe another year to see if he came back! Imagine spending a couple of years with Socrates and his disciples. 2 years in the sixties before I OD on it! Definitely leaving a year to be spent in space! The final frontier! These are the voyages of the Starship Zaev!

Think about it? How would you spend your time?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My First Change!

So it's been a while. I know a lot of ya'll are mad at me. I'm sorry, honestly I've been working hard to save my job. Few people know this, but I was close to being fired. Unfortunately, since I haven't been discovered yet as a writer and since I have yet to start on my first book. Unemployment wasn't an option I could afford. Believe me, all I did was work work work, all in an effort to earn my meagre earnings so I wouldn't have to go and live with my Mom or Dad. I hope you understand?

Now that you've forgiven me. Moving on! I'm going to basically cover a bunch of thoughts that have randomly been coming into my head.

1) Have you ever wondered why the world Bosom makes you think of a girl with really big breasts. While the word breasts always comes off sounding a little wanting? Who came up with the word Bosom? Better yet who came up with the phrase "Buxom Bosom"? My hat is off to that person. Sheer Genius.

2) End of 2008, beginning of 2009. I know it's a while yet, but I mean really? 2009?? I declare it the year of the Zaev! Who's with me on this one??? Anybody??? Do I finally get laid in 2009??? For that matter does my sister get laid before I do?? We should have a poll going! Who wants in??? (Trisha.. don't show this to your mom!)

3) Why don't more people drink beer? I mean I've realised... and it's taken me 25 years and 10 months to realise it, but beer is the alcoholic drink of choice for me. Why don't more people drink it? I understand in India, most local beers are pretty bad (let's just say kidney stones would be the least of your problems!). Yet, world over I believe we should start a movement encouraging people to drink beer. After all it's called Beer Goggles! Not Whiskey monocle!

4) Obama won! Ok, so I was wrong on the Americans being rednecks. Or maybe they realised that for once, the other rednecks were worse than the "African American Muslim from Hawaii"? Well, lets see where he gets us. I know I've already lost 1000rs. since he became president! (Never make bets with overzealous women when at a bar drinking beer!)

5) This is related to my above statement, whats the over / under on Obama staying in Office for another 4 years? Better yet, will he even survive 4 years?

6) Why is it that women insist on being friends with every guy they meet? Really? I mean ok so you can go bragging about how u have more men friends than women? Maybe it's because women hate all women but insist on talking to only men?!? Random thought! I can't help it!

7) Whatever happened to the code of "Bro's Before Ho's!". I've realised that as we head into the distant future, us Manly Men are forsaking our brother's just for the opportunity to get some play! Honestly, are things that bad for everybody? I thought I was the only one currently dealing with an economic recession of epic proportions!

8) On a related note, whats the Over / Under on this recession? Will it end in 1, 2, 4 or 6 years? Better yet, will I be able to keep my job during this recession. Or will I be forced to hand out party favors at the local Y for my meagre earnings.

9) So 26th birthday coming up... Is it really all downhill from here? I mean it's been pretty downhill from 23 onwards. Does it get worse?? Can it get worse??

10) Is 26 finally the time I lose some weight, get off my ass and make a name for myself? I wonder. As I ponder these random thoughts. I ask you to ponder them too.

Stay tuned for my next update! Oh and the change? No more My First's! We start a new Era now! It shall be an exciting time for us all! Journey on my wayward child!

Monday, October 13, 2008

My First Party!

So we recently had one of those work parties. You know the kind where you are forced to make an appearance, forced to drink a lot, forced to have fun and finally forced to blog about it.

However, I must admit... there is something fun about being forced to do all of the above.

What is it about these parties? I always end up having more fun than I expect. This time around I got into conversation with a guy who claimed that Beer was a "Pussy" drink. Pfft! The man obviously has never had Guinness! I say Manly Men drink Beer! Brilliant! I ended up dancing a lot (Godforsaken Muscle Cramps! Must learn to stay in goddamn shape!) most of it with a more than attractive woman (HCHHSSTT alert - Sorry had to figure out a way to work that in!).

Pictures oh so many pictures! In fact one of the highlights of my day today was coming to work and seeing random colleagues going the pictures and finding out that maybe they shouldn't have had as much to drink as they did. It's never fun to see that you have your arm around a girl you don't know and don't want to know (especially when you have to face them at work the next day!).

Note: what is it about one night with a girl that maybe doesn't amount to much in life, but for some reason ,that one night feels really special?

However, as always the bad comes with the good. Sigh, getting your ass kicked, having tons of people jumping on you and finally the constant replay of really bad music. (Note: Do not let your HR manager hire a DJ that works for free!).

Sorry, I've been away so long. In the words of Superman "I won't let you down!"