You ever realise how irritating parents can get? Especially Mothers?
When you are sick, they will constantly call you and wake you up from the deepest sleep, only to ask how you are feeling (something they already have the answer to!), or when you take a day off from work they refuse to believe it is because you just wanted a day off, or finally when you are way younger and they think you are going to flunk a grade and actually make you study so you won't fail (I finished top 5 in my class! And that after all the pressure she put on me!).
I mean the stories are endless and the fact is whether you are 1, 4, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31, 60 or older they will be around to irritate you.
I know I said I had stopped blogging and I have, I just felt I had to come back and say a Final "Thanks" to my Mom for all the times she's irritated me and also for all the times she's gone and done something that made me realise its her god given right to be able to irritate me.
So to my Mommy, the first person I had a tattoo done for... Thanks.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
My First Last Post
So I'm done. Last post. It was a good run. 50 odd posts.
To all those that stuck around, it was a fun run and thanks.
By the way... never did get famous or find that HCHHSSTT. Oh well such is life.
To all those that stuck around, it was a fun run and thanks.
By the way... never did get famous or find that HCHHSSTT. Oh well such is life.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
My First Lease
So, I'm supposed to be closing on my new apartment tomorrow. I should be experiencing a whole lot of emotions ranging from happiness, relief, excitement and maybe even fear (I'm scared of cockroaches!). Am I feeling these things? No, I'm not. What I'm feeling is more like fatigue and also disgust.
You see I've realised something - It is not easy getting an apartment in India. There are just way too many requirements most of which are a complete waste of time.
For example I will list of some of the requirements my Land Lord wants from me which by the way don't include the standard items like a deposit of Rs. 50000, along with two months brokerage and first month rent upfront (I'm giving a deposit and you want the first month rent upfront as well? Does this make sense!).
So the additional requirements are:
1) A letter of permanent employment from my company. I wonder what would've happened if I was self employed or if I was a rich kid with parents paying the rent?
2) Interestingly enough he also wanted a letter from my Mother or Father stating that they did not have a problem with me entering a lease agreement with him. Let's see I'm 25, supported my family for a while when I was 22 or 23 can't remember, and oh yeah lived alone in Bombay for the last year and half! Are you serious? A letter from my Mother? What is this Middle School?
3) Religion and Caste - blogged about this before, don't want to discuss it.
4) At one point, he didn't want to allow for an exit point in the lease agreement basically stating that I was stuck there for eleven months and didn't have a choice about it. Obviously, I told him in a firm manner that this was not going to happen and amazingly he relented. By the way I think this was the only thing he relented on.
So, those are a few of the additional requirements that he had. Did I mention these people are supposed to be educated? I guess in the future I'll just have to make sure I buy an apartment instead of renting one.
Like that will ever happen.
P.S. Too top it all off, not a single HCHHSSTT in the building.
You see I've realised something - It is not easy getting an apartment in India. There are just way too many requirements most of which are a complete waste of time.
For example I will list of some of the requirements my Land Lord wants from me which by the way don't include the standard items like a deposit of Rs. 50000, along with two months brokerage and first month rent upfront (I'm giving a deposit and you want the first month rent upfront as well? Does this make sense!).
So the additional requirements are:
1) A letter of permanent employment from my company. I wonder what would've happened if I was self employed or if I was a rich kid with parents paying the rent?
2) Interestingly enough he also wanted a letter from my Mother or Father stating that they did not have a problem with me entering a lease agreement with him. Let's see I'm 25, supported my family for a while when I was 22 or 23 can't remember, and oh yeah lived alone in Bombay for the last year and half! Are you serious? A letter from my Mother? What is this Middle School?
3) Religion and Caste - blogged about this before, don't want to discuss it.
4) At one point, he didn't want to allow for an exit point in the lease agreement basically stating that I was stuck there for eleven months and didn't have a choice about it. Obviously, I told him in a firm manner that this was not going to happen and amazingly he relented. By the way I think this was the only thing he relented on.
So, those are a few of the additional requirements that he had. Did I mention these people are supposed to be educated? I guess in the future I'll just have to make sure I buy an apartment instead of renting one.
Like that will ever happen.
P.S. Too top it all off, not a single HCHHSSTT in the building.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
My First HCHHSSTT
It's funny how women think that us Manly Men never remember our first girlfriends, or the first girl we kissed, or hell even the first girl we slept with (Or for you sensitive types out there, first girl we made "love" too!).
But, its not true truth be told, I'm pretty sure at least 90% of us Manly Men remember the first girl we kissed, dated or slept with. Sure, the girl may not have been a complete HCHHSSTT and because of that we may want to forget about them. Believe it or not, we don't.
You see it's a simple reason behind why we don't forget them. It's because us Manly Man draw all our confidence and our powers from the first time we did things. Sure we may tell you we don't remember it, in an effort to come off uncaring, cold and nonchalant (For the record this is done only by those Manly Men that suffer from a little bit of insecurity, however since they are Manly Men we chose to forgive them).
You see we remember our first times not because the girl was so awesome, not because it may have been an HCHHSSTT that was from beyond this world. No, we remember them because when we did all of our firsts we were so awesome at it that the women couldn't help but tell us. You see them telling us, that's the central being of our awesome Manly Man powers. It's because of the fact that the first girl we kissed absolutely swooned in our arm's for a couple of second after which she jumped on us begging for more, or the first girl we slept with couldn't stop mouthing the words "OMFG!" or even the first girl we dated couldn't help but spend the next three months trying to make us jealous.
Personally, I remember all three of my firsts and while the women weren't necessarily HCHHSSTT's, lets just say I hit all three balls out of the park.
But, its not true truth be told, I'm pretty sure at least 90% of us Manly Men remember the first girl we kissed, dated or slept with. Sure, the girl may not have been a complete HCHHSSTT and because of that we may want to forget about them. Believe it or not, we don't.
You see it's a simple reason behind why we don't forget them. It's because us Manly Man draw all our confidence and our powers from the first time we did things. Sure we may tell you we don't remember it, in an effort to come off uncaring, cold and nonchalant (For the record this is done only by those Manly Men that suffer from a little bit of insecurity, however since they are Manly Men we chose to forgive them).
You see we remember our first times not because the girl was so awesome, not because it may have been an HCHHSSTT that was from beyond this world. No, we remember them because when we did all of our firsts we were so awesome at it that the women couldn't help but tell us. You see them telling us, that's the central being of our awesome Manly Man powers. It's because of the fact that the first girl we kissed absolutely swooned in our arm's for a couple of second after which she jumped on us begging for more, or the first girl we slept with couldn't stop mouthing the words "OMFG!" or even the first girl we dated couldn't help but spend the next three months trying to make us jealous.
Personally, I remember all three of my firsts and while the women weren't necessarily HCHHSSTT's, lets just say I hit all three balls out of the park.
Monday, June 2, 2008
My First Confession
OK, so I have a confession to make. However, this is nothing like "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen". This is better!
So, there I was this weekend, company sponsored party with tons of free alcohol. Well, you can imagine what happened next. That's right I committed the cardinal sin. I cockblocked a fellow Manly Man. OK he wasn't exactly a Manly Man, but he was half a man and there he was hitting on a HCHHSSTT and instead of trying to help him, I cockblocked.
I'm not proud of it, and in all fairness I was cockblocked by a fellow Manly Man as well, especially one who would in his normal senses never do such a thing.
It occurs to me, that when you consume tons of alcohol, you really lose control of yourself. You give in to the dark side. This dark side is not good. I mean here I am the preacher of Wingmanness, and I let every body down by cockblocking.
Today, I make a vow never to again cockblock no matter how drunk I get. How you ask am I going to do this? Simple, If I ever cockblock I will make it up to the person by buying their drinks for the night. Since I am so cheap, I have a feeling that will stop me and if it doesn't well we'll have to come up with an alternative plan.
Cockblocking is evil and I am ashamed of myself. The HCHHSSTT was kinda worth it though.
So, there I was this weekend, company sponsored party with tons of free alcohol. Well, you can imagine what happened next. That's right I committed the cardinal sin. I cockblocked a fellow Manly Man. OK he wasn't exactly a Manly Man, but he was half a man and there he was hitting on a HCHHSSTT and instead of trying to help him, I cockblocked.
I'm not proud of it, and in all fairness I was cockblocked by a fellow Manly Man as well, especially one who would in his normal senses never do such a thing.
It occurs to me, that when you consume tons of alcohol, you really lose control of yourself. You give in to the dark side. This dark side is not good. I mean here I am the preacher of Wingmanness, and I let every body down by cockblocking.
Today, I make a vow never to again cockblock no matter how drunk I get. How you ask am I going to do this? Simple, If I ever cockblock I will make it up to the person by buying their drinks for the night. Since I am so cheap, I have a feeling that will stop me and if it doesn't well we'll have to come up with an alternative plan.
Cockblocking is evil and I am ashamed of myself. The HCHHSSTT was kinda worth it though.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
My First Dated
Have you ever noticed how something you saw when you were a kid seemed a lot cooler at the time than now when you're all grown up?
I mean this has happened to me on multiple occasions. I always hoped there were things I would never be too old for. For example Cartoons and Chocolate Chip cookies. It's a scary thought when you contemplate all the things that you are too old for at the age of 40, 50 and 60.
Dammit there goes my Enfield when I'm 60!
I guess after everything is said and done, there will always be things you are too old for. Somethings especially get dated faster than others. When I was 14 and reading Archie Comics, I never thought I would get too old for them, now I look at them and can't read more than two pages before putting the book down in complete disbelief because of how naive some of the characters are. Dammit Veronica, just get into a three some already, Midge and Betty are waiting!
Even movies, have any of you watched the movie Rad? I always believed that movie to be awesome. When I watched it recently, I couldn't get past the first 5 mins. There is no plot, the acting is terrible and don't even get me started on the cheesy 80's bike tricks and music.
Hell, even HCHHSSTT's can get dated. You see a girl you think is hot when you are 14, and by the time you are 18 and old enough to make a move you realise how butt ugly she is.
In the end, I guess that's how it is. You grow up, you become more cynical, you lose the ability to enjoy things that once would've never had a problem keeping your attention. I just hope I never grow out of watching cartoon's, eating cereal and acting like a complete dork when I want too.
Too all the things that I can't take seriously in my life anymore (that would be you Archie comics) I just wanted to say, thank you for the good times, the bad times and everything in between.
I mean this has happened to me on multiple occasions. I always hoped there were things I would never be too old for. For example Cartoons and Chocolate Chip cookies. It's a scary thought when you contemplate all the things that you are too old for at the age of 40, 50 and 60.
Dammit there goes my Enfield when I'm 60!
I guess after everything is said and done, there will always be things you are too old for. Somethings especially get dated faster than others. When I was 14 and reading Archie Comics, I never thought I would get too old for them, now I look at them and can't read more than two pages before putting the book down in complete disbelief because of how naive some of the characters are. Dammit Veronica, just get into a three some already, Midge and Betty are waiting!
Even movies, have any of you watched the movie Rad? I always believed that movie to be awesome. When I watched it recently, I couldn't get past the first 5 mins. There is no plot, the acting is terrible and don't even get me started on the cheesy 80's bike tricks and music.
Hell, even HCHHSSTT's can get dated. You see a girl you think is hot when you are 14, and by the time you are 18 and old enough to make a move you realise how butt ugly she is.
In the end, I guess that's how it is. You grow up, you become more cynical, you lose the ability to enjoy things that once would've never had a problem keeping your attention. I just hope I never grow out of watching cartoon's, eating cereal and acting like a complete dork when I want too.
Too all the things that I can't take seriously in my life anymore (that would be you Archie comics) I just wanted to say, thank you for the good times, the bad times and everything in between.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
My First Diss
Diss. So I googled the word, and believe it or not Google had completely irrelevant definitions of the word. Stunning! So what does it mean to get Dissed? It means somebody disrespected you.
There are ton's of way to disrespect some one. Sure you could spit on them, you could also call them names (This I'm really good at!) or you could even do something as subtle as question their judgement.
It's even worse when the person questioning your judgement is supposed to be a valued friend. I mean if that person is questioning your judgement, hell everybody and their mom is going to question it.
The funny part is I don't know if I should be disappointed? or Angry? I guess it's a combination of both.
Let me tell you, its easier to recover from a HCHHSSTT rejecting you than from a good friend questioning your very judgement and on many levels your ability to make decisions.
Oh well, I guess just the way you bounce back from an HCHHSSTT turning you down, you recover from this and you hope to hell the friend doesn't do it again. Once is forgivable, twice is just not cool.
There are ton's of way to disrespect some one. Sure you could spit on them, you could also call them names (This I'm really good at!) or you could even do something as subtle as question their judgement.
It's even worse when the person questioning your judgement is supposed to be a valued friend. I mean if that person is questioning your judgement, hell everybody and their mom is going to question it.
The funny part is I don't know if I should be disappointed? or Angry? I guess it's a combination of both.
Let me tell you, its easier to recover from a HCHHSSTT rejecting you than from a good friend questioning your very judgement and on many levels your ability to make decisions.
Oh well, I guess just the way you bounce back from an HCHHSSTT turning you down, you recover from this and you hope to hell the friend doesn't do it again. Once is forgivable, twice is just not cool.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
