My First Pet Peeve

So, there I was, a beautiful day... and this woman was passing by. Now she was a very shapely woman, I won't lie on any given sunday I would have been interested and would have checked her out. However, on this day, she was wearing one of those shirts: tight and with a message printed on it.

Now, why in the world would a woman wear a shirt with something written prominantly on it. Not only is it tight, but it has something written on it!! Do women realise, whats going to happen next?? Well, I can tell you, I stared at her rather large top, simply in an effort to decipher the complicated print. Well, you can guess what happened next... thats right... she called me a jerk!

Why oh Why do women wear shirts like that, and then expect us manly men not to react the way we do? Its not that I was checking her out, i'm not that stupid. I'm very skilled at checking out a girl and not making it obvious, but this was different. I was actually trying to decipher the heirofuckinglyphics she had on her shirt!

Please, I beg all women, stop doing this to yourself. If you plan on wearing a shirt with print on it, expect to be oggled! If you don't enjoy being oggled, DON'T WEAR THAT SHIRT!

As you can tell, I get upset when called a jerk. Stupid shirts and high heels! damn them all!

My First Observation

Why do people have this awesome image of themselves? In their head, they are Batman, Superman, Diaperman. In reality, they aren't even the miniature version. I mean isn't it hilarious the perception people have of themselves.

Atleast I'm honest about it, when I look in the mirror, I see a cute, sexy and large man... a manly man if you must. I am Superman 20 years after his peak. Its a fact. Look if I'm willing to be honest and the image in my mind is exactly who I am. Why can't everybody else be as well?

But, all these other people out there, seriously, get over yourselves. You are not Superman, Batman or Wonder Woman. If you were, you would be getting laid a lot more than you are! And don't lie to yourself... you are not nearly getting laid enough!

I wish people would be more like me, honest about themselves. If I had a penny, for every time that I hear somebody think they are Leonidas, Hercules or Fat Albert, I'd be rich!

What tops it off even more, all these women that think they are really hot... but we'll save that for another day.

My First Review

So, I've been asked by a "friend" or two to try writing this blog in a more gramatically correct format, and also to focus on subjects that don't pertain to me. Now, the problem with this is two fold.

The first issue is, If I try writing a gramatically correct post, and avoid using ".....", "???" and "!!!", it would just be taking away from the impact of the post??? I'm sure all you readers out there agree with me???

The second issue is, I enjoy writing about utter rubbish! I don't want to write about the fact that black people have an identity crisis. I don't want to write about the Indo-Pak war of the seventies. I don't even want to write about child marriage or the holocaust. I enjoy writing about me, and all the serious issues that are facing us like "why my ear itches only when i'm sleeping or when i'm riding my bike?" or "Why do we always talk about sex when drinking beer?" or "Why in the world women wear these really short dresses and then slap us manly men for showing our appreciation?". Man I love those short skirts, sorry I digress again.

Lets face it, these are the topics that trully should be tackled and some reason, everybody refuses to acknowledge this.

I have taken up this cause, and I will reach out far and wide, these questions shall be answered. Sometimes in a grammatically correct method and sometimes not.

My First Younger Sister

So... younger sisters... is it me... or are they a lot cuter when they are younger??? And I mean younger.. like 6.. or 7.... once they hit 10... its all downhill!!!

I mean my sister is such a little brat... i want to take a piano and drop it on her head half the time. Don't get me wrong.. I love the little brat (don't have much of a choice!). But, goddamn she's infurtiating!!!

She's now 17 going on 35... getting laid ( alot more than I am apparently!!), smoking.. drinking.. and she thinks i'm a duffer with no life! wait... i'm going to go buy that piano, and hoist it up a couple of floors!

How many of you other guys out there have little sisters.. its like.. they don't understand... all we're trying to do is protect them from .... well.. men like us!!!

you think i'm ranting and raving... but just u wait.. when u get your own little sister.. she'll grow up from being your fave little pet.. to a god awful brat u want to drop that piano on!!!

Still.. its kinda fun having them around... occasionally... very very occasionally!

Love ya trish!

My First Complaint

In this world.. there are two sorts of men.. the haves and the havenots. Me I'm a havenot... see I don't have a girlfriend, so me.. i'm the kinda guy that wants to be a have! I want a hot chick to have!

Now i see all these dudes with their hot chicks.. and then they fuckin cheat on them.. and well honest to god it makes me mad! I would give my left nut.. my right nut.. shit and my virginity for a hot chick!

Now I know I sound like a pussy .... but really... why?? why do the haves have to be such assssshollleeesss and fuck it up even more for us havenots!!!

I speak whats on my mind.. right now.. i want to castrate all the haves.. simply so I have a better chance of getting laid!!

Damn all you haves!! damn you till your penis's fall off! And once I become a Have.. I shall petition for changes!! I understand god gave us a penis and a brain.. but only enuff blood to run one at a time.. but dammit.. that is not an excuse!

My First Post

I apparently have a blog... never realised it was there. Have you ever had something and never realised it was there??

I wonder if I go home.. will I find a naked woman under my sheets??? is that possible?? I don't know she's there... maybe like my blog... it will actually happen?

With my luck... I probably don't have a naked woman under my sheets at home... I probably have some other crap that won't even matter.

What is with the lack of available hot women in the world today??? its a sin that there aren't more.

Ok now i digress... for a first attempt.. I think this blog sucks! but feel free to add positive comments... after all, those are the only ones I will approve!