Appraisal's, feedbacks, little sister's and women we can't get

So I just read my lil sister's blog (you can go read it at diggingpotatoes.blogspot.com). This pain's me a lot and I doubt I'll ever recover from admitting to it, but since I am a little buzzed from drinking I might as well admit: My lil sister is a better writer than I am. Right now is a good time for the Lord to strike me down with lightning and make me never have to live through the moment where she starts laughing at me and yelling "LOSER!". Seriously though, the post's may appear long and sometimes a little dreary, but definitely worth a read.

So it's that time of the month, when the higherup's in the company (No, I'm not one of them! Blasphemy.. I know!) decide to give us little people feedback on our performance and if we're good enough we get a salary increment. While I can't tell you if I received an increment or not, I can tell you my feedback was mostly positive. Trust me, I'm as surprised as you. I expected them to tell me to pack my bags and leave that very day. But I guess that's what makes feedback so important, you don't always know what kind of job your doing and sometimes you need somebody to tell you even if its not always positive.

So, I took Suzzanne (my bike for those not familiar) out for a nice long ride this past weekend, and let's just say I appreciate her all the more. A couple of us stayed out in a nice villa and spent all evening sipping whiskey and eating meat. Two of us even strayed out for a walk in the night and looked at the stars. All the while I was thinking two thoughts; "Why couldn't you be single and why can't I have met you seven years ago" and "two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl, year after year, running over the same old ground". Why is it that we always want something we can't have? Why is it sometimes just having a person near you can make all the difference between being absolutely bored and ecstatically happy? I guess, I could always make something happen in another lifetime? I'm sorry I don't mean to come of sounding so pathetic (Though I am off the opinion that my picture should be up next to the definition of the word pathetic in Webster's dictionary).

Well it's December, and I turn 26 this month. Time flies eh? I wonder what the 16 year old me would say if he saw where I was right now. I mean I have my own apartment, I ride a bike, I have a job that pays me well and gets me semi excited. But, I'm missing something... and I think I know what it is. No, I do know what it is... but I wonder, if I had it would I be happier? Wow, 26! Some how I can't fathom the fact that I'm actually an adult now. I guess we all yearn for the day's when we were 16? Almost a decade ago... a decade... sometimes, we just have to ask ourselves "where did we go wrong?" or is it "where did we go right?"

Like I said: I'm 26, I have a job, I have my own apartment, I ride a bike and while I may not be where I thought I would be when I was 16, I don't think I'm doing too badly. I may be single and I may not have found my calling in life; but I just realised that I have the next 10 years to change that.