My First Loser

So, I've known this person for a long time. A really long time.

After all the time that I've known them, there is only one word which aptly describes em. If you don't believe me, trust me you will after I'm done.

All they ever did was harass me. In fact if I didn't know better, I'd think God put them on this planet just to be the bane of my existence. It started with the mindless jokes, followed by the physical harassment and finally completed with a ton mental battery. If I had any sense I should just sue em.

I mean lets face it, only a loser would pinch a baby and make him cry and then try and blame it on some imaginary person in the room (I say imaginary... because there was nobody else there!).

They follow up feats as amazing as this by picking on me in front of all my friends when I was a wee little toddler and couldn't defend myself against bullies. Refusing to share toys with me, unless I begged. I literally had to get on my hands and knees.

Did I mention I was the test subject for all the wrestling moves seen on TV? By the way, the sharp shooter kinda hurt! Oh and who makes fun of a twenty year old virgin! I mean come on! where is the damn sympathy!

To this day I'm regaled with stories of their amazing achievements, such as getting laid at the tender age of 17, being the fastest runner in school until a bad ankle knocked em out. Oh did I mention all the same repetitive music I had to listen too. I say repetitive cause apparently remixing my favorite music is the only way to go!

I could go on, but whats the point? You get the gist of it. You are probably saying to yourself "Nobody can commit such heinous acts of treachery against a Manly Man as awesome as Zaev!". Well believe it! It's all true.

You're probably asking yourself right now "Doesn't this person have anything good going for em?"

I would have to think really hard and I guess I could think of a few. Stuff like buying me whatever I wanted whenever the cash was available, being the best role model while I was young, showing me what it's like to be a Manly Man at the very tender age of 17 and I guess some how or the other whenever I need someone or something, this person comes through.

Sigh... So maybe they aren't all bad... maybe.

Today is the 26th of Feb, and well this person just turned 33. What do I get someone who turned 33 and could use a lot of things? Well, I'm broke so he'll have to settle for a blog post about him that was way overdue.

Let's face it, he may be a Loser but he's MY OLDER BROTHER OF A LOSER! And I'll always love him especially since I know that deep down somewhere I'm still his favourite little brother.

Happy Birthday Dada.