I love sports. I follow almost all sports.
In a way it reaffirms my masculinity. If I'm feeling a little too feminine, nothing beats watching a good game of American Football where you have a bunch of guys huddling up and then kicking ass. Sure, it may seem a little fruitty, but trust me if you get hit by a 280 pound man that can run 40 yards in under 5 secs and live to tell about it. Well, you know God exists and all that time spent in Church/Temple or/and Mosque sure paid off.
I guess I follow sports for two big reasons, the first one I already mentioned: it reaffirms my masculinity, a truly Manly Man will follow all Manly Man sports (Cricket is not such a sport, nor is chess. Golf only makes the cut because of Tiger Woods). The second reason is that it is a brilliant conversation starter (helps me get chicks!) Unfortunately, this doesn't quite work in India since most people follow cricket, and since we've established that cricket isn't a sport I simply do not follow it.
For all you women out there, if you want to pick up a guy at a bar? Trust me, read up on sports! Preferably the Manly ones these include Football, Soccer, Basketball, NASCAR/F1, Baseball (though its a borderline sport: the only thing that makes it a sport is all the steroid use and now that they are testing it's a matter of time before it's not a sport), Ice Hockey and Olympics when it comes around once in 4 years.
I for one love a woman that knows her sports. I had the biggest crush on a red head back in college cause she had an awesome Long Island accent along with the fact that she followed the Knicks. The fact that she was a potential HCHHSSTT had nothing to do with it.
Of course there are moments you want to avoid, such as the Champions League Final between Chelsea and Man Utd. led to a moment where I saw a colleague stand on a bar, strip of his shirt, wave it around like a mad man and shed a tear. You want to avoid moments like that. Trust me, you get scarred for life.
I believe every Manly Man has one team he commits himself to no matter what! It's like a marriage. You love the team and well you also hate them. For me it was the New York Knickerbockers (that's a kind of men's underwear). Like all marriages this love - hate relationship all started when my brother got me a pair of Nike Flights from the states which were worn by Allan Houston. They were uncomfortable as hell but damn they looked good. When I saw the buzzer beater Houston hit against the Miami Heat to take them into the NBA Finals, it was a done deal. I read up on their history, and trust me they have history.
We had a ton of great moments together, like the time we beat out the Heat in the 1999 finals and then the Heat again the next year.
Of course all good things come to an end and after numerous playoff defeats, some of them which left me crying and my brother questioning his love for the Knicks. They commited the biggest sports crime ever: they traded their Franchise Player Patrick Ewing. They made it worse by signing a bunch of players to bad contracts and finally hired Isiah Thomas.
This was about the time I started thinking maybe it was time for a divorce, maybe we had gone as far as we would go together. Maybe they needed new fan's and I needed a new team to support. Instead we went through a phase of 4 -5 years where we just existed.
In this time the Knicks kept making one bad decision upon another. All the while refusing to fire the man behind the team that became the joke of the NBA.
The man was sued for sexual harassment and they didn't fire him? In any other job a man sued for sexual harassment would've gotten lynched! Hell, the Americans impeached their president for having "sexual relationships"! But no the Knicks left this moron in charge. They even gave him a contract extension. I think it finally took the Commissioner of the NBA calling the owner and threatening him with a law suit that got him to fire Isiah Thomas.
Finally, with Thomas gone and a new person in charge, I feel we can work out our differences. After all we have a new coach, and hopefully soon we'll have a new Franchise player (Lebron James in 2010!).
Honestly, sports have made me cry (like a man!), made me deliriously happy and definitely made me jump 4 feet out of my seat. I also like to believe that it helped my brother and I bond and share a kinship that we may never have had.
I have to admit to something, I started following Formula 1 because of my brother, it gave me something to talk to him about (you try talking to a 16 year old when you are only 9!) I started to support Senna because of him and after he passed away (I cried that day). I started to support Schumacher because of him (I was 11 and man did that piss him off! Joy Joy!).
So to my brother, I say thank you for introducing me to one of the finer things in life.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
My First Realization
Ok, so it dawned on me recently. "It" being something pretty interesting. There you are, out for dinner with this girl whom you are attracted to. Remember you aren't in love or crazy about her, but you are most definitely attracted to her. Let's be more specific and say she's an HCHHSSTT.
(Ground rules now set, we can move on)
Anyway after that first dinner, things go well and you start dating her. Bottom line you go through the motions of dating the girl when suddenly WHAM!
Two months into your relationship and she dumps you like a hot potato or if you prefer a sack of hot potatoes? Now obviously, there you are suffering from withdrawal symptoms, depending on how desperate you were when you started going out and when you got dumped.
Now I know a lot of you people will call this sour grapes, but it isn't. Essentially, after the above stated withdrawal symptoms pass, getting dumped opens up your eyes. You take a long good look at the HCHHSSTT and realise... Oh My God! She was the most needy irritating person ever (Note: I would like to take this moment to state that this works both ways. I'm just using a guys perspective).
My point is simple, isn't it amazing how we tend to ignore all the things about a person that would generally irritate the living shit out of you especially when you want to date them, or sleep with them, or even date and sleep with them.
By the way take this moment to reflect on all your past relationships and realise that most of the women you dated had some serious issues. I would also like to take this moment to state that most of your friends may have tried to warn you but you simply failed to listen to them. On another note if they didn't warn you, get new friends.
Bottom line: when you are interested in a person, it is amazing how much we forgive them for. I mean sometimes the "biggest" set of breasts can make you forget about how nasal the voice of the owner of those 36DD's is, or they can make you forget about the fact that she keeps cutting strips of your steak from your plate or finally and my personal favourite the simple fact that she refuses to let go of my goddamn hand!
I guess us men can always use the old standby "Not enough blood" because we all know our "Mini-me's" only see what they want to see.
But really all you women out there, whats your excuse?
(Ground rules now set, we can move on)
Anyway after that first dinner, things go well and you start dating her. Bottom line you go through the motions of dating the girl when suddenly WHAM!
Two months into your relationship and she dumps you like a hot potato or if you prefer a sack of hot potatoes? Now obviously, there you are suffering from withdrawal symptoms, depending on how desperate you were when you started going out and when you got dumped.
Now I know a lot of you people will call this sour grapes, but it isn't. Essentially, after the above stated withdrawal symptoms pass, getting dumped opens up your eyes. You take a long good look at the HCHHSSTT and realise... Oh My God! She was the most needy irritating person ever (Note: I would like to take this moment to state that this works both ways. I'm just using a guys perspective).
My point is simple, isn't it amazing how we tend to ignore all the things about a person that would generally irritate the living shit out of you especially when you want to date them, or sleep with them, or even date and sleep with them.
By the way take this moment to reflect on all your past relationships and realise that most of the women you dated had some serious issues. I would also like to take this moment to state that most of your friends may have tried to warn you but you simply failed to listen to them. On another note if they didn't warn you, get new friends.
Bottom line: when you are interested in a person, it is amazing how much we forgive them for. I mean sometimes the "biggest" set of breasts can make you forget about how nasal the voice of the owner of those 36DD's is, or they can make you forget about the fact that she keeps cutting strips of your steak from your plate or finally and my personal favourite the simple fact that she refuses to let go of my goddamn hand!
I guess us men can always use the old standby "Not enough blood" because we all know our "Mini-me's" only see what they want to see.
But really all you women out there, whats your excuse?
Friday, September 5, 2008
My First Second Part of My First Two Parter
First of all for those of you who didn't see that title coming, well I have nothing to say.
Welcome to the second part of my first two parter... Yes! I had to say it again!
You know it's funny the other day I was talking to this friend of mine and he said something that shocked the stuffing out of me (if you've seen me, you'll know that's a lot of stuffing!). He actually had the gall to say getting too old for video games and comics.
Well, I don't understand how anybody can get too old for either of those things. It's not just men, its women too. If you've become too old to play a video game or a comic, well then personally take a look in the mirror cause you probably won't like what you see.
Personally I'd love to date a girl who was thirty, flirty, fun and into gaming and comics. I might even convince her to dress up as Princess Leia or hell Lara Croft! Dammit must focus on subject at hand!
I bet more than 80% of my readers are on Facebook and also spend at least 70% of their free time on Facebook. Now, tell me whats the difference between Facebook and World of Warcraft (WoW)? Almost none, in fact they run along the same concept. It's called Social Networking. The funny thing is today if you are a 30 year old on Facebook it makes you hip, cool and web savvy (Ha ha.. keep telling yourself that!). If you are a 30 year old on WoW, well shit you might as well hide that fact cause its worse than being gay.
It's the same thing with comic books, I mean do you realise that more than half of the comic books out there are a reflection of what is happening in our world already or what will happen if current events carry on the way they are? I mean hell, we have more Joker's in the world than Batman has in the comics. Unfortunately we have like zero Batman's, well side from my colleague who claims to be Batman and probably spends nights praying to the almighty one to make him Batman!
I'm sorry I know I'm coming of preachy but the fact is I love playing video games, I love reading comics. If that makes me come off as immature so be it! I believe comics and video games are my god given right, kinda like sex. Nothing beats an HCHHSSTT who loves comic books and plays WoW!
Yes, I play World of Warcraft, I read comic books (Up Up and Away!) and I like to have sex.
For all of you women out there that have Boyfriends that are into the above mentioned topics, all I can say is "Don't worry... be Happy!"
Welcome to my world.
P.s. On a completely unrelated note, I find it ammusing I had more comments on a nonsensical post "My First Arggggh" than on a post that actually had a little bit of meaning "My First Two Parter". I'm thinking I should really start antoganizing women if that is what will get me more readers!
Welcome to the second part of my first two parter... Yes! I had to say it again!
You know it's funny the other day I was talking to this friend of mine and he said something that shocked the stuffing out of me (if you've seen me, you'll know that's a lot of stuffing!). He actually had the gall to say getting too old for video games and comics.
Well, I don't understand how anybody can get too old for either of those things. It's not just men, its women too. If you've become too old to play a video game or a comic, well then personally take a look in the mirror cause you probably won't like what you see.
Personally I'd love to date a girl who was thirty, flirty, fun and into gaming and comics. I might even convince her to dress up as Princess Leia or hell Lara Croft! Dammit must focus on subject at hand!
I bet more than 80% of my readers are on Facebook and also spend at least 70% of their free time on Facebook. Now, tell me whats the difference between Facebook and World of Warcraft (WoW)? Almost none, in fact they run along the same concept. It's called Social Networking. The funny thing is today if you are a 30 year old on Facebook it makes you hip, cool and web savvy (Ha ha.. keep telling yourself that!). If you are a 30 year old on WoW, well shit you might as well hide that fact cause its worse than being gay.
It's the same thing with comic books, I mean do you realise that more than half of the comic books out there are a reflection of what is happening in our world already or what will happen if current events carry on the way they are? I mean hell, we have more Joker's in the world than Batman has in the comics. Unfortunately we have like zero Batman's, well side from my colleague who claims to be Batman and probably spends nights praying to the almighty one to make him Batman!
I'm sorry I know I'm coming of preachy but the fact is I love playing video games, I love reading comics. If that makes me come off as immature so be it! I believe comics and video games are my god given right, kinda like sex. Nothing beats an HCHHSSTT who loves comic books and plays WoW!
Yes, I play World of Warcraft, I read comic books (Up Up and Away!) and I like to have sex.
For all of you women out there that have Boyfriends that are into the above mentioned topics, all I can say is "Don't worry... be Happy!"
Welcome to my world.
P.s. On a completely unrelated note, I find it ammusing I had more comments on a nonsensical post "My First Arggggh" than on a post that actually had a little bit of meaning "My First Two Parter". I'm thinking I should really start antoganizing women if that is what will get me more readers!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
My First Two Parter
Well, I guess the pressure is on now after My First Comeback to post something that will keep my ardent readers satisfied. It's fortunate that I have always worked better under pressure than when I'm stress free.
Now, I know most of you are probably expect me to follow up on "My First Arggghhh" post. I did give it deep thought and I realised it is not worth it. For those of you who are interested in what happened. Lets just say I flew smack dab into the goddamn Friendship Zone. On the plus side, I managed to quickly extricate myself by getting the girl to hate me. I believe women love to hate men and men love to be hated by women. I guess that is what makes the world tick.
I also thought about taking the time to post about the US Presidential Race. I decided against that when I realised there was a potential HCHHSSTT running for Vice President with McCain. Funny thing though, she's the Governor of Alaska. Did you even know Alaska had a Governor??? I always thought Alaska was only good for oil? Does this make her the first "Alaskan" to run for Vice Presidency? Also, does this mean that in 2012 we'll have two women running for President? Can we place bets on who wins in 2012 - the woman from Alaska, the light skinned Muslim African American from Hawaii or the White chick who wants to be African American and whose husband cheated on her more than once while in the Oval Office? I mean really who wouldn't want to bet on this? I think we should check if Vegas is getting the odds ready yet.
Let's face it the 2008 race is going to be won by the White man who has survived both Vietnam and Cancer. And if you didn't see this coming, well then shame on you!
Some how I just feel that the above two topics aren't worthy of dedicating an entire post too, so instead I've decided that I will speak about something of more importance. However, in the interest of having people come back to my blog I shall post the second part only tomorrow.
Tune in tomorrow for the next installment of "My First Two Parter", who knows it may even involve HCHHSSTT's!
Now, I know most of you are probably expect me to follow up on "My First Arggghhh" post. I did give it deep thought and I realised it is not worth it. For those of you who are interested in what happened. Lets just say I flew smack dab into the goddamn Friendship Zone. On the plus side, I managed to quickly extricate myself by getting the girl to hate me. I believe women love to hate men and men love to be hated by women. I guess that is what makes the world tick.
I also thought about taking the time to post about the US Presidential Race. I decided against that when I realised there was a potential HCHHSSTT running for Vice President with McCain. Funny thing though, she's the Governor of Alaska. Did you even know Alaska had a Governor??? I always thought Alaska was only good for oil? Does this make her the first "Alaskan" to run for Vice Presidency? Also, does this mean that in 2012 we'll have two women running for President? Can we place bets on who wins in 2012 - the woman from Alaska, the light skinned Muslim African American from Hawaii or the White chick who wants to be African American and whose husband cheated on her more than once while in the Oval Office? I mean really who wouldn't want to bet on this? I think we should check if Vegas is getting the odds ready yet.
Let's face it the 2008 race is going to be won by the White man who has survived both Vietnam and Cancer. And if you didn't see this coming, well then shame on you!
Some how I just feel that the above two topics aren't worthy of dedicating an entire post too, so instead I've decided that I will speak about something of more importance. However, in the interest of having people come back to my blog I shall post the second part only tomorrow.
Tune in tomorrow for the next installment of "My First Two Parter", who knows it may even involve HCHHSSTT's!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
My First Official Comeback
Well, it has definitely been a while and after speaking to numerous people (between 1 - 3), I have decided to announce my comeback.
Now what can you my ardent readers expect from this comeback? Well you'll get to read about the exciting events of my life such as watching WALL - E (Amazing movie by the way, I highly recommend it). You will also get my thoughts and insights into many subjects ranging from "The multiple uses of Chopsticks" to "Are Chopsticks the weapons of mass destruction that the Chinese are threatening the americans with?". And ofcourse every person's favourite topic "Are all HCHHSSTT's (Hot Chicks wearing High Heels Short Skirts and Tight Tops - For the sake of reference) lieing when they say 'OMG! You rocked my world!'?"
There is one catch however, unlike before I shall not be posting everyday. For once though, let us look at the silver lining. This would meanbetter quality posts with a sound social - economic message behind them.
So, to the few in attendance and the millions around the world in the words of the Immortal Michael Jordan "I'm back!".
Now what can you my ardent readers expect from this comeback? Well you'll get to read about the exciting events of my life such as watching WALL - E (Amazing movie by the way, I highly recommend it). You will also get my thoughts and insights into many subjects ranging from "The multiple uses of Chopsticks" to "Are Chopsticks the weapons of mass destruction that the Chinese are threatening the americans with?". And ofcourse every person's favourite topic "Are all HCHHSSTT's (Hot Chicks wearing High Heels Short Skirts and Tight Tops - For the sake of reference) lieing when they say 'OMG! You rocked my world!'?"
There is one catch however, unlike before I shall not be posting everyday. For once though, let us look at the silver lining. This would meanbetter quality posts with a sound social - economic message behind them.
So, to the few in attendance and the millions around the world in the words of the Immortal Michael Jordan "I'm back!".
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
My First ARGGGHHH!!!!
Women.. I swear to god they can really get my goat. A girl once told me she was "fond" of me! What the hell is "fond"? You can be fond of that soft toy you have! You can be fond of your favourite underwear! Hell.. but "fond" for a guy!
Then she say's she wants distance.. when you give them that, they get pissed. And its always your fault! WTF!
This is my most nonsensical post and you know why? Cause women are frigging nonsensical!
They make me go ARRGGGGGHH!!!!!
Then she say's she wants distance.. when you give them that, they get pissed. And its always your fault! WTF!
This is my most nonsensical post and you know why? Cause women are frigging nonsensical!
They make me go ARRGGGGGHH!!!!!
Friday, July 4, 2008
My First Thanks
You ever realise how irritating parents can get? Especially Mothers?
When you are sick, they will constantly call you and wake you up from the deepest sleep, only to ask how you are feeling (something they already have the answer to!), or when you take a day off from work they refuse to believe it is because you just wanted a day off, or finally when you are way younger and they think you are going to flunk a grade and actually make you study so you won't fail (I finished top 5 in my class! And that after all the pressure she put on me!).
I mean the stories are endless and the fact is whether you are 1, 4, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31, 60 or older they will be around to irritate you.
I know I said I had stopped blogging and I have, I just felt I had to come back and say a Final "Thanks" to my Mom for all the times she's irritated me and also for all the times she's gone and done something that made me realise its her god given right to be able to irritate me.
So to my Mommy, the first person I had a tattoo done for... Thanks.
When you are sick, they will constantly call you and wake you up from the deepest sleep, only to ask how you are feeling (something they already have the answer to!), or when you take a day off from work they refuse to believe it is because you just wanted a day off, or finally when you are way younger and they think you are going to flunk a grade and actually make you study so you won't fail (I finished top 5 in my class! And that after all the pressure she put on me!).
I mean the stories are endless and the fact is whether you are 1, 4, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31, 60 or older they will be around to irritate you.
I know I said I had stopped blogging and I have, I just felt I had to come back and say a Final "Thanks" to my Mom for all the times she's irritated me and also for all the times she's gone and done something that made me realise its her god given right to be able to irritate me.
So to my Mommy, the first person I had a tattoo done for... Thanks.
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