The Game

I think Triple H's ring entrance music says it best:

"It's all about the game, and how you play it!
All about control, and if you can take it.
All about your debt, and if you can pay it.
It's all about pain, and who's gonna make it."

I mean sure we can get philosophical and discuss the game that is life (You lose, even when you win, you lose), you can be practical and even discuss the game that is your career (Welcome to 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year for the next 40 years), or you can always discuss the farce that is the game of politics (Do you vote for the guy who got you in trouble, or the guy who has no clue how to get you out of trouble?).

Let's be honest, nothing is more important than the game played between Man and Woman.

Sure, it's cliched but the fact is, we've been playing this game a long time. It starts from childhood, all the way through adolescence (The first crush that you could never get!) into marriage (That's right, when she said she'd do that thing you always wanted her to do once you got married; she lied!) and finally retirement (Yup, Death ain't looking too bad right now is it?).

It's a never ending battle! As for the winner, well used to be that it was a stalemate.

That is until recently, in this day and age of technology women have an insurmountable edge. What with enhanced breasts, butts, lips, cheeks, etc. the competition just got taken up another notch.

It's gotten so bad that men are jumping on their bandwagon and getting sex changes to join the "winning" team.

Either way, you have to ask yourself "Why in gods (good) name are you even playing the game?"

I currently have one friend who is knee deep in the game. Funnily enough I believe she could win it without plastic surgery, but at the rate she's going (what with all the forced errors and hitting the panic button too early) we may just go into overtime and to win she may just require some last minute plastic surgery!

Then we have my colleague BWSP, he'd like to believe he is above the game. I'd go as far as to say he chooses not to acknowledge the existence of the game.
In the process, his game is a very passive one, which ends up with him portraying the image of a so called "Wise Sage" (He's scared of Pigeons! How wise can be?), resulting in the HCHHSSTT's finding themselves caught in the trap of the Sage. Amazingly enough this actually works for him, however I see very few people capable of pulling it off.

Then you have my old roommate. we shall refer to him as "Coffee". Now here is a man that plays the game. He plays the game religiously. He goes by the book, following all the rules, however it doesn't quite work out for him because he doesn't know how to make on the cuff decisions. When you play the game, you need to think on your feet. Going by the book is fine, but sometimes instinct wins out!

As for me, well I'd say I suck at the game, I panic. Yes! I'm a panicker. However, I'm a great Game Coach. Like they say, those who can't play; teach.

So why do we all play the game? I think it's basic dynamics, everybody wants to be on top. Doesn't matter if it's in life (You may die, but you do want to die rich), your career (everybody wants to retire as the boss) or politics (Black or White, might is right!).

So with that, I shall now dispense 5 basic rules you ought to follow to ensure you come out victorious:

1) In this day and age, people don't really call each other much and end up smsing. If you can avoid smsing, do it. You are better off making the call simply because you can tell a lot more from the tone of a voice than from an sms. However, before that it is in your best interest to get the girls number. (For women: Asking a guy for his number puts you on the defensive, but woohoo for the feminist movement right?)

2) If you initiate the first conversation, wait for the other person to initiate the second one. You do not want to be the one responsible for starting all the conversations. Nobody likes a needy person.

3) As a HCHHSSTT, it is in your interest to appear naive (but don't actually be naive). When a guy takes your number, he's interested in you. If he hasn't called you, its cause he dropped his two sidekicks along the way, and wants to pick them up before making a move.

All you have to do is play hard to get. Everybody wants what they can't have. Rule 101.

4) If you manage to get to a first date, as a guy you are allowed to compliment the girl a maximum of 3 times through the evening. Anything more and well it doesn't matter, there won't be a second date. Also, at the end of the first date, go for a kiss. It doesn't matter if there is a second date or not. You just paid for dinner, get something out of it man!

5) This is for both men and women; DO NOT PANIC! Those who are prone to panic attacks, end up shooting blanks... Literally!

So there you have it, five basic rules. Of course the game is played in multiple stages and just cause you win one stage, doesn't mean you'll win the entire thing. Eventually, somebody always gets hurt.

Just remember that it's a game and in the words of the wise MWA "If you stop having fun, you should stop playing".