Drunken Dialing

So after two and a half years, the company I work for is finally shifting to a new office. This building is supposed to be state of the art, with all sorts of facilities. Of course we live in India so that means the building took three years to complete and it will take another year to finish putting in all the state of the art facilities.

However, the company decided to throw a party to inaugurate the new premises.

As far as parties go it wasn't too shabby. We actually had a dress code for the party which was Black tie. I had to rebel and decided to go with a really flashy blue tie. However, considering that I was wearing a shirt, pants, jacket and leather shoes to go with it. I think most people were actually pleasantly surprised I could clean up.

The great part about a formal dress code is that you get to see all the people you work with at their best, especially the women. Nothing beats an HCHHSSTT all decked out in formal gowns.

So as with all company parties, especially IT companies you get a bunch of repressed nerds that go crazy because of all the free liquor. So there we all were getting completely sloshed.

To my credit I was not very drunk. I was pleasantly buzzed. So much so that I was probably the least emotional of all my friends.

I know I've posted on this before, but I want to reiterate that alcohol makes people do some crazy things. There were grown men and women crying everywhere. People getting truly emotional. My colleague BWSP (Batman Wannabe Scared of Pigeons) started jiving with random women though he swore he wouldn't. My other colleague SBB (Short Build Bastard) was trying to get a lesbian to have a threesome. A third colleague, whom we'll call NCB (Ninja Cock Blocker) was drooling over all the women and cock blocking them.

Well you can all imagine, the end result was a bunch of really well dressed men and some (not all) well dressed women drunk, emotional and falling all over each other.

As for me? Well, like I said I was pleasantly buzzed and decided to get myself home before I started acting like the rest. Interestingly enough I think I did only three stupid things all evening:

1) I asked a girl if she was a lesbian - This is never good. Avoid it at all costs. Trust me. To make it worse, I was actually thinking I had a shot with this woman. Note to self: Learn to keep mouth shut when drinking!

2) Dance with the CEO's date - Right, if you want to keep your job do not under any circumstance do this. I think the only reason I still have a job is because he thinks I have "Potential". Mind you I haven't gotten promoted in two and half years! But hey.. I still have a job right?

3) Drunken dial a female friend in the hope that I could get lucky - Umm, maybe I was more buzzed than I realised.

I think friends should stop friends from drunk dialing. Somebody needs to come up with a buddy system that takes care of this. It's like Drunken driving. You don't let your friends drink and drive. Similarly there should be a designated phone holder. He's responsible for handling all his drunk friends cellphones.

This way, no matter how drunk you get you can't drunk dial anybody. I think I may have to put some more thought into this and come up with a system. It's for the betterment of man kind!

Thank god these parties only happen once a year.