Monday, May 11, 2009

Night of Tuborg

So this is not really a weekend update, it's more of an awareness update.

You see I spent this week, the way I spend most of my weekends which is going out with friends and getting drunk. However, there was a small difference this past weekend. This weekend I got to go out with friends and drink all the Tuborg beer I wanted for just Rs. 500 (That's $10 for the rest of you!).

Now contrary to public opinion, I'm not a cheap guy. I just have a budget and choose to live within it. Sometimes though, I tend to forget whom I'm around and I make the mistake of coming off cheap. It's a sad flaw I have. Something I definitely need to work on as apparently it has cost me at least one potential HCHHSSTT this past week already.

However I digress, so there we were Rs.500 for all the beer I wanted. There was no way I was going to pass up on this opportunity. It was Saturday night, and I was ready and raring to go!

This would be a good time to add that the friends I was drinking with are all 21 or at most 22. Now one of these young lads had chosen this moment to challenge me. That's right challenge moi! He claimed very positively he would and could drink more than I could.

Now every Manly Man knows, that no matter what happens when challenged by Obnoxious Little Brat's (OLB), you must step up to the plate and accept said challenge.

So there I was in a drink off with a 21 year old.

I guess drinking all the beers you can is a lot like when you meet a girl for the first time. With women, you want to make a great first impression on the girl. Sometimes however, you completely crash and bomb and the first impression you make is a disaster. What you have to realise is, you just need to calm yourself and realise there will be more chances to change that impression. It's the same thing with a night of all you can drink beer, just cause you don't chug the first three doesn't mean that you'll end up drinking less once the evening is done.

In the end the OLB started passing out at about beer number 10 and half. Like most OLB's he had failed to pace himself.

Hoever, at 26 I couldn't afford to make these amateur mistakes. I couldn't afford too drink too fast and end up throwing up somewhere, not when I had another record that I refused to concede.

You see, I've been Puke free since '03! If I ever decided to run for Presidency, I think that would be my campaign slogan and I think I'd get quite a few votes. For one thing it's a lot more catchy than "Change we can believe in!" (or whatever Mr. B.O. was using).

Being older and wiser I knew that it wasn't important how fast I drink but rather how much I drink without hurling - by the way if you are still throwing up at the age of 26 after a night of binge drinking, you may want too really take some time to reflect on yourself.

I ended the night with 12 and half beers, all the while staying "reasonably" sober. I say "reasonably" because the worst thing I did that night was ogle at some HCHHSSTT's. Considering the fact that I didn't hurl, nor act inappropriately in any manner, I'd say I was pretty well behaved.

Anyway, as you can imagine after the 12 and half beers which isn't even a record for me. I was pretty worn down and decided to call it a night. Sad truth? There was a time, when I could drink till 6 am and not feel worn down or close to calling it a night.

Sigh, let's just say this is when us older and wiser people truly feel the pain.

Gone are the days when I could outsleep the beer and the hangover.

I suffered through some very disturbed sleep (weird weird dreams - dreamt FLBN was standing above me and saying "I told you so!" Shudder!!), woke up four times to relieve my bladder, suffered through a headache while sleeping which was then nice enough to stay for 4 hours after I woke up, and finally the onset of a cold and fever. Is there a scientific study showing beer as a catalyst for a common cold? If there isn't one already, we need to get it done! I'm living proof!

In the words of Roger Murtaugh "I'm too old for this shit!".

2 comments:

Bosey said...

u are old before your time. that scientific study sounds like a good idea though i personally think that cold and stuff happen (after a night such as you describe) because (a) u might have got too close to a virus carrying hot chick etcetc or (b) your immunity is down (u are suffering from one cold too many) and should see a doc before you catch something more serious - such as chronic bronchitis...!

William said...

Hahaha, this was a great read! :D

For the record, as I had told you earlier, I hadn't eaten anything other than a sandwich all day. But yeah, I do concede I failed to pace myself at the end. I was cruising fine till the last beer at Rio which I tried to force down to keep ahead.

Like any smart man, I realised I had to quit while I was ahead when I dropped the bottle at Firangi Paani, which is why I left then. And no, I did NOT pass out. I made it home fine and had a Kingfisher thereafter.

Anyway, this is in NO way over, nor do I concede defeat. We need to settle this!

- The "OLB"