OK, so today I heard something very funny and amazingly it actually made sense.
Now while it may not be very politically correct and it definitely is the kind of thing that sets women's rights back a 100 years it was still funny.
BWSP, SBB and I were discussing the dearth of women. Well the dearth of women for me. We realized as men grow older it gets a lot harder to find available women. This is because most women get into "relationships" at really young ages and are all taken by the time they get to my age.Now there are definitely exceptions to the rule like the Pact Girl, but on average they start dating very young and end up in relationships for life.
Note: Keep in mind, I could always try to date younger women. After all I do have a 18 year old sister who knows quite a few young HCHHSSTT's. However, even I'm not that shallow or desperate... Yet!
As for the women that don't start dating young, well they just get really picky. They want their guys to look like Hugh Jackman, be funny like WIll Smith and be as charming and suave as Pierce Brosnan. This by the way is virtually impossible. I mean I'm awesome, but even I'm not that awesome.
So there we were discussing this theory, when all of a sudden SBB declares the following: "Women are like banking accounts. You have your Fixed Deposits, your Saving Accounts and finally your Current Accounts."
As you can imagine BWSP and I spent the next five minutes laughing. Then we realized how true his words were, you may not like it and it may seem sexist, but for most men this would be the ideal way to categorize women.
By the way Mom, I can hear you groaning out loud and wondering how in the world you managed to raise a child like me. Good luck I guess?
We then spent the next 10 minutes fleshing out each of the categories, which I've taken the liberty to post for all of you avid readers out there.
This way all the women can determine which category they are in. The categories are:
1) Fixed Deposits: These are women whom men like to take home to their parents. One possibility is that they could be daughters of family friends. This is primarily for Indian men as they believe their families would encourage an "arranged marriage", especially if the girl is a 10 on the HCHHSSTT scale.
Alternatively, female friends that have stuck around for years, with whom they may or may not have shared a "moment" also fit the bill.
Keep in mind that the two people managed to keep the "friendship" going through any and all turmoil.
By the way, if you spend more time talking to the guy than sleeping with him, it is a good sign.
Men like to keep these around for as long as possible, only cashing in this "account" once they settle on a girl to marry. Some men may even continue the "account" on the off chance they are hedging against a possible divorce.
2) Savings Account: These are women that men believe have potential. The may date sporadically.
These relationships are marked by the fact that they are meaningful. Time is spent in equal amounts of talking and getting jiggy with it.
The minimum time spent with the girl is at least a year. It can be on and off, but it needs to be for at least a year.
A lot of men see women in the Savings Account category as Fixed Deposits.
By the way I am really scared at how easily this Banking Analogy is catching on in my mind. It's really making a little too much sense right now
3) Current Deposits: These are women that most men cash in as soon as possible (By the way that sounds bad even to me).
You know you are in this kind of relationship if the conversation is limited and sex is abundant. There is very little hope to take this anywhere unless some how the girl makes an impression that the guy is forced to make her a more permanent / prominent fixture in his life. This is very unlikely.
Now, I want to take this moment to let all my female readers know that I am in no way condoning this categorization. I just think for most men, it's really convenient. Does it make it right? No, but it doesn't mean it shouldn't be used.
In a way, it's a lot like Nuclear weapons. We all know they are bad, we all know they shouldn't be kept around as it will probably lead to WW III. Yet, every country that can produce them has a stockpile of them. Let's face it, it is really convenient.
I would like to take this moment to let you know how scared I am. I just managed to compare "condoning of Nuclear Weapons" to "condoning of a banking analogy that helps categorize the way men "feel" about the women they are seeing".
I'm not sure if this will make my women readers feel better, but technically you could use this to categorize men as well. Except we all know women aren't shallow enough to actually go ahead and use it.
More power to you all. I'm still going with convenience over correct.
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