Thursday, May 15, 2008

My First Rule Guide

So, I believe I have progressed far enough to come up with my own rule guide. Now obviously the first question is What is a Rule Guide? after which your other questions are What is the Rule Guide on? Why not call it a rule book instead? and finally Who authorized you (that would be me) to write a Rule Guide?

Well, have no fear because I have answers for all those questions:

1) A Rule guide (For the sake of simplicity will be referring to the Rule Guide as RG going forward) is a set of rules to help guide people through carrying out certain tasks. These are not rules laid down as right or wrong, they are there as a guiding light. Failing to adhere to these rules does not send you to prison. Nope, they just send you down to the dark side.

2) Today's RG will be on how to be an AWESOME Manly Man friend. Not a good pussy ass friend but an AWESOME Manly Man friend.

3) We don't call it a rule book because it's not a book, it's a guide and a RG can be amended and updated as time and situations change.

4) Well, lets see... My Blog, My Time, My Wish? That and the fact that I am an AWESOME Manly Man friend. So I already know the rules, and am in many ways an expert. For references on this please feel free to contact me.

Now what makes a normal person an AWESOME Manly Man friend. Well a couple of things really:

1) Self Sacrifice: You have to be the perfect Wingman, in the worst of situations you need to help your buddy. If this means giving up your last $5 until next week's payday so your buddy can drop the redheaded HCHHSSTT he is macking on in front of you with while ignoring your existence in a yellow cab and in the process get some nookie. You Give it up.

2) Self Sacrifice 2: If your buddy asks you to check his breath cause he has a cold and can't check his own breath and he's got his eyes set on the lovely brunette HCHHSSTT sitting at the bar. You check his breath! You don't complain, you just do it! Trust me he will do the same for you.

3) Manly Man Bonding: One must always be willing to meet up with his fellow same-sex buddies for a round of drinking and shenanigans. While spending time with only sausages can bring down every Manly Man's spirit, once in a while it's a good thing to do. It also reminds you of what being a Man is truly about.

4) Not Judging People: The most important point of all, never judge your Manly Man friends. Every Manly Man has his moments of weakness, if you see him crying like a little girl because the HCHHSSTT he wanted to sleep with shattered his confidence then it's up to you to show him courage and not judge him. If you see the man drunk and sleeping with anything but an HCHHSSTT you must not judge him instead remember mistakes happen for a reason.

5) Man Love: It's OK to love another man, in a completely heterosexual way and also to indulge in rare cases of Man hugs. These are normal and should not at any time set you off balance. Also, please remember that the increased intake of Alcohol is directly proportional to the increase in the number of hugs and "I love you's". That does not mean you need to stop drinking.

This is just a broad layout for my Rule Guide, obviously there are a lot more things that we can work on and add, and if you my ardent readers feel like adding valid points, please feel free to comment them based on their level of importance. I may just add them to the blog and award credit to the right people.

4 comments:

Inka said...

Grammar Check:

1) A Rule guide (For the sake of simplicity [WE] will be referring to the Rule Guide as RG going forward. [Optionally: A Rule Guide - for the sake of simplicity will be henceforth referred to as RG]

2)Failing to adhere to these rules [DOES] not send you to prison.

3)We don't call it a rule book because it[']s not a book, it[']s a guide...

4)...giving up your last $5 until next week[']s payday...

5)...his fellow same[-]sex buddies...

6)...once in a while it[']s a good thing to do.

7)...shattered his confidence then it[']s up to you to show him courage...

8)...anything but an HCHHSSTT you must not judge him[.] [I]nstead remember mistakes...

9)Man Love: It[']s OK to love another man...

10)..Also, please remember [THAT] the increased intake of Alcohol..

11)...of hugs and "I love you[S]"

12)...obviously there [ARE] a lot more things...

13)...please feel free to comment them based...[Incorrect manner of use of the word 'comment']

14)...based on their level of importance[.] I may just add them to the blog...



P.S. Where shall I send the bill?

Zaev Dutt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Inka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zaev Dutt said...

You May send the bill to:

Kiss My White Ass
330 You Suck Road
Loserville, Loser
Pin - 24824



P.s. Earlier comment deleted for Typo.