Job Well Done

Today a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend, they'd been dating "on and off" (his words, not mine - I always believe it's either on or forever off, but that's just me) for about 5 years now. I just have to say I'm really proud of him. 

You see in this day and age, most people that are in relationships longer than a year or two, get married and then divorced in about 2 - 5 years. Now, this is may not be as true in the States as is it is in India (In the States, they don't get married, they just live together), but there is still some truth to it. 

All these people stay together for just one reason and that is they "Settle". Everybody in this day and age settles. I've seen it happen over and over again, people just settling.

I mean if this happened in times of War, the world would be a much better place. Unfortunately, it's never that simple. When it comes to war, we'll wage it until a whole bunch of people are dead. When it comes to Love, nope let's just settle for something that may or may not even be love, because that's the "smart" thing to do. Which is really ironic when you think about it. 

I'm off the opinion that people settle for primarily two reasons:  

1) They are scared of being alone

Note: Loneliness is a by product of being alone. I've had this argument and won. If you want to argue it further, please make sure you Define:Alone in Google search first, read all the definitions and then come back with your "rational" argument. 

2) The concept of "Divorce" has made it so that people feel they can just correct a "mistake". 

That's one hell of a mistake to fix champ! Assuming you live for 60 years, and you spent 8 years with someone, only to have it end in divorce because it was a bad idea (which you knew from the beginning, but ignored because you thought you would never find anybody better). You wasted just a little over 1/6th of your life away. Namely your prime, the peak years which you could've used finding the perfect person or sleeping with a bunch of HCHHSSTT's. Both of which by the way, would you leave you happier than you are right now. 

So I'm happy because he didn't settle. He definitely had the opportunity too. I've met his ex-girlfriend and she's actually kind of nice and attractive too. Unfortunately, for him (or her) they just didn't click sexually.

Note: Yes, sex is a big part of any relationship. I mean come on, I'm not afraid to say that a large reason I would get into a relationship with a girl is the fact that I'd get unconditional sex at least once a week (That's the bare minimum as far as I'm concerned). If a guy (or a girl) is not getting that, you know they're going to cheat on you. This is the reason most Indian Husbands are such adulterers, their wives refuse to give them enough nookie and when they do give it up, it's bland and boring. 

So anyway, like I said he could've settled. Now, you know why I'm happy my friend broke up. As for why I'm proud?

Well, it's because he could've done something a lot of guys do and that is string her along until he found somebody he felt was better. I know he liked the fact that he had somebody to talk to all the time. Somebody that made him feel special and when you spend as much as 5 years with a girl, it's not easy letting go.

In fact, imagine letting go and knowing that while there are possibilities you could meet someone more your match, the chances of that happening are at best 50 - 50. It takes a lot of cajones to do something like that (It takes even more when you know, you aren't going to get any sex for a while - I don't think he realises that right now and I'm not about to tell him). 

I know so many people that stay in unhappy relationship's because they can't be alone. I've met guys (and girls) that cheat incessantly on their significant others, all because they are unhappy at the thought of being "stuck" with them. Some guys do worse, they emotionally abandon their girlfriends but refuse to break up with them or let them out of their lives because they like having them around, pretty much like a favourite chair. 

Now, I know you guys think I'm being my usual "over reactionary" self. I probably am, I probably am applauding something most people won't agree with. But you know what? I'm fine with that. 

When you grow up in a family littered with divorce, and you know your mother is single because she got married for the wrong reasons and is suffering because the guy who married her was too scared to make the right decision for the both of them. You'll learn that maybe, it's better to be alone than to spend the next 3 - 5 years in a relationship that leaves both people worse off than when they got into it. 

So, to my friend I raise my bottle of beer and say "Job Well Done". 

Posted via web from Zaev's Hole in the Wall