The Pact

I once made a pact with this incredible HCHHSSTT.  

Everybody makes pacts like the one we have, especially when you're younger. It's one of those "If we're both still single by the time we're 30, we'll get married" pacts.

Note: It's amazing how when you make these pacts, you never really believe it'll happen. I mean come on, what are the chances you're going to be single at 30!?! Obviously this changes the minute you get closer to 30, have been single for a while and have no chance in hell of dating a girl, let alone marry you in 4 years. Things sure change as you get older. 

Disclaimer: I'll admit that I've made this pact with a few women. Most of whom today I either don't speak to anymore or don't want to get married too.

However, there is one girl who she stands miles apart from them. 

She's not your usual HCHHSSTT. Sure, she's hot (definitely more attractive than any girl I've ever been with) and can pull of the whole High Heels, Short Skirts and Tight Top bit, but along with that she actually has a brain. She's interesting, talks just the right amount, knows how to hold her liquor (kinda negates my chances!), laughs at all my jokes and most importantly she is an avid reader of my blog. I think she might even be offended to be labeled an HCHHSSTT - Unfortunately, not every girl wants to be an HCHHSSTT!

By the way for all you guys (all women readers can just replace "girl" for "guy") out there, I have a couple of quick questions, When a girl calls you up:

1) In the middle of a meeting, would you walk out of the meeting even though you know your boss won't be overly impressed?

2) In the middle of a close friends surprise party, would you disappear for over an hour and miss out on the cake being cut right at 12 AM? (By the way, this isn't as easy to do as it sounds!)

Or

3) In the middle of an holiday with a group of 8 - 10 friends (all drunk) who want to head to the beach, would you try stalling them (and succeed!) for an hour or more?

What would you do? You know what's a really scary thought? I don't do this for my own family (sorry guys), but I did it for her.

Note: After every one of these calls, I went through the following emotions in this precise order: Elation followed by a dose of reality bringing about a nice bout of Depression. This is actually really good for healthy living at the very least it keeps you in touch with two of your most extreme emotions. 

You go through life, meeting a ton of people and there are a lot of times, when you think "This person is cute. I should try my luck". but there are only a couple of times, when you meet someone that makes you cry when they leave (It took me a long time to figure this one out by the way) and only one person for whom you'd call ten different friends in an attempt to get her number so you can drunk-dial her.  

So, I have this pact with her and the crazy part is I'm not even sure she remembers it. I don't think she does, and does it matter if she does or not? 

I put a lot of thought into this post, in fact I spent the last 24 hours thinking about what I'd write. I know if I had spent another 24 hours, I'd probably do a better job writing it, but would it be as honest and would it really make a difference? 

I've told her how I feel and she always counters by saying "It's in your head". I really don't have a come back to that.

So as I was thinking about what to write, (channeling my inner stalker style) I decided to check out some pics of her (gotta love Facebook) and I realized "Holy Shit! She's completely out of my league and I stand no chance!". Let me tell you, it's not a good feeling, Reality is a real pain in the ass.  

So what's the point of this post, Is it to tell her how I feel? Is it to tell you my avid readers how I feel? Is it to give my brother more ammunition to use against me in our never ending battle of nitwits? Is it to make my mom realise that her son is a hopeless basket case? Is it to make this girl realise I'm a pathetic, sentimental, wuss of a Manly Man? Is it an attempt to remind her of a pact made 10 years ago?

I really don't know.

While this post may pose more questions than answers, I guess what it really comes down to is sometimes you just gotta let it all out, so you can let it all go. No matter how nonsensical, irrational or hopeless you feel. 

Posted via web from Zaev's Hole in the Wall