I've been asked by my ardent readers to dedicate a post just to women. So, here I am, talking about women.
There is so much to say about them, I mean you could fill the entire American Congress Library with things to say about women and you'd still only have covered the tip of the iceberg.
Lets face it, women are confusing. I should know, not to say I've been with that many women, but I know. They think they know what they want, but they have no clue!
One minute they want a relationship, next minute its a one night stand. Sometimes, they want to drink then all of a sudden they don't want to drink! The best one is their definition of sex. Apparently, its ok to enter the building, but not go to the top. I mean what the hell?
It gets worse and worse, the best way to tell if the woman you are dating is confused is by looking at her eyes, if she has "Crazy Eyes", well then you should stay away. You can tell when a woman has "Crazy Eyes". Just remember, if you trully do like a woman, your ability to detect said "Crazy Eyes" is diminished and you will have to ask for your friends opinion.
Finally, I have three questions for all you women viewers out there followed by a disclaimer. They are:
1) Why do you women wear tight tops and short skirts and then give men dirty looks when they appreciate the view?
2) Why do women that don't know how to walk in high heels wear them? (This is one that I have been dieing to have answered!)
3) Why do all women go to the rest room in groups? Are you afraid you won't find your way back to the table?
Bottom line is "Can't live with them, can't live without them"
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here and questions asked are completely independant of Zaev the blogger. The questions and opinions stated above have been expressed by the male contingent of his viewership and hence are their opinions and not Zaev the blogger's. Please do not hold Zaev the individual or Zaev the blogger responsible for any of the above statements.
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12 comments:
dude...what is it with you and chicks in high heels and tight tops! Get over'em.... there's much more to the world than that !! :D
lies... lies.. lies!!!
sahil: u big fat sindhi liar. coming from your mouth, it sounds the most unbelievable, especially.
zaev: disclaimer? i never thought you'd end up having one. comon dude! what are u afraid of, these very same women you have mentioned above?
i would have written much more than just a post about women, the strangely astonishing species, perhaps a whole blog BUT no. I wont. The world wont change because of that. Neither will they.
PS: one thing that might happen with that though is getting beaten up by my girlfriend. :) btw, i might still end up with some major minus points for this post too! :D
I'm sending this post to Natasha, with love from Jay.T
1. because women should- like men- have the freedom to wear what they want to without getting ogled.
2. to look taller/slimmer. who cares if you cant walk, when you look five pounds lighter?
3. we go to the restroom in groups to say nasty things about you people, without your overhearing and also to exchange makeup.
trish.. honest answers, however, if women want to wear whatever they want, they do so with the knowledge that all men are dogs, and we will ogle all we want. Its our god given right.
If you want to look slimmer, loose some weight.
And going in groups to exchange make up and to say nasty things about the people who are buying you your drinks is hypocritical.
I shall have you know that most women know EXACTLY* what they want.
*Conditions apply.
(What? If you can have a disclaimer, so can we!)
Oh and by the way, this whole "women are confusing" mantra most guys have going on is just a poor way of disguising the fact that these very same guys haven't figured out what women want.
Its cause if women don't know what they want, how the hell are men supposed to know?
As for answers to your questions:
1. Women wear tight tops and short skirts because we're all really evil and this is just another sure-shot way to torment you guys.
(Oh and if we're giving you dirty looks it's probably because we caught you staring - which probably means you were being too obvious. So basically it's all your fault.)
2.Women wear high heels because men like high heels (as is clearly evident in all of your posts)
So, all these needy, approval-seeking women will traipse around in 4-inch heels that they cannot manage, while forever ruining their backs and feet.
So this too, is all your fault.
3. I totally agree with your sister on this one. We go to the loo in groups so that we can say rude things about you guys without hurting your feelings.
The fact remains that all men have extremely fragile egos that, we fear, would not handle our criticisms well. Therefore we must conduct these conversations in private.
And so basically, once again, it's all your fault.
Simple enough!
Ok, I will agree with you on ONE aspect - obviously men aren't mind readers and therefore it is unfair to expect them to miraculously know whats wrong, etc. etc. You have to TELL them.
Which is a decisive factor in proving that women are the superior sex. If men were superior, you'd have figured us out by now ;)
Going forward, I ban Inka and Trish from commenting on all posts. Their posts are illogical and seem to blame us manly men for all of their deficiencies.
I do not believe in starting a sex war, I am here to help people understand the opposite sex, however, upon reading comments from Inka and Trish I fear that some women are just not willing to co-operate to increase inter-sex understanding.
p.s. Comment was deleted due to a grammatical error. That has now been fixed.
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